Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
as a side note pls kill me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize