actually, I'm a sock model
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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