So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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