normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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