im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
