Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
