you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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