I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
