with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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