next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
