I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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