i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize