did you get engaged???
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
