I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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