guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
