if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
