Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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