I wish i was in the wii world.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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