Quick, to the slutcave!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
