its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize