you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize