i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
