perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Mom said you looked used
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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