Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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