He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
