Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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