i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
