I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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