she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
