ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
