She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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