It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
