i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
