I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
