I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
