ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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