hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
