My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
