jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
