They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish I only lived at night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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