What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize