if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
