I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
