I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
