I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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