No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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