at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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