Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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