He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize