Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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