So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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