she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
