I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have post one night stand depression
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