my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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