next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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