I'm going to jail i love you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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