Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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