For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
