so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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