I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
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At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize