so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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