Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my being single is dangerous.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
