You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
