I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
