The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
