Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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