this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
